19/10/2005
Building Self Esteem by asking for what you want ... the right way!
One way to building self esteem is to start
'acting as if'.
In other words,
'pretending' that you have high self esteem now - no matter what you think on
the inside. But what to say? How to act? Here are some tips and techniques to
learn how those with high confidence and high self esteem ask for what they
want.
Here are
some principles first:
- They ask assuming that the answer will be in the positive.
- They ask as many times as it takes to get their outcome.
- They ask in as many different ways as they can to get their outcome.
Now let's look at
some examples:
Low self
confidence ...
"I don't suppose
you can get the shoe size I am looking for?"
High self
confidence ...
"Can you get the
shoe size I am looking for by tomorrow?" (Assumes size will be found
somewhere; imposes deadline to create urgency)
Even higher
self esteem ...
"I'd like you to
call me tomorrow when you have the shoe size I am looking for" (Also
assumes a request will be fulfilled - contrast this with "Should I call in
next week?", which is far less powerful)
Here's another
example ...
Low self
confidence ...
"The
car seems a bit expensive ... can you reduce the
price?"
High self confidence
...
"How much will you discount the car for
me?"
Even higher self esteem
...
"I'll only be interested in the car when you show
me a significant discount. When will you call me?"
Sometimes it takes a deep breath to say something like
this that you wouldn't normally say - and that's great practice of
course!
Of course you can ask yourself for what you want too
... how about "Which day will I wake up feeling so much more confident ...
Thursday or Friday?"
You can learn tons of simple tips and
techniques like these by signing up for my FREE Self Esteem Workbook and 21-day
Ecourse here.
All the best!
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