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21/11/2005

Self Esteem and Self Confidence: 'Why' and 'How' are they different?

 
How are self esteem and self confidence different? Or are they? And what does it matter anyway?
 
It's really quite an important question as I find, looking through my self esteem website visitor logs, people arrive fairly equally from searches on both phrases.
 
So being clear about the differences and how to improve both, would generally be a very useful thing!
 
Self Esteem:
This is a measure of our 'self worth': The value which we put on ourselves.
 
Here are some things to consider:
  • It seems to be fluid rather than static
  • One could have an overall sense of your self esteem as an individual
  • One could also have high self esteem in some areas and not others (see previous post of 25 Oct 2005)
  • It is influenced by our upbringing, our genetic make-up and events around us
  • One can build self esteem especially by focusing internally on the way you 'process your world'
Self Confidence:
This is a measure of your feeling about your 'ability to carry something out'.
 
It could be related to any area of your life:
  • Your job;
  • Relationships;
  • Dating;
  • Money and wealth;
  • Asking for what you want;
  • Public speaking;
  • Friendship.
As you can see, this is quite different to self esteem.
 
I like to think that self esteem is an underlying cause of quality self confidence. (I also believe there is another type of self confidence which is actually 'bravado' ... but let's save that for a later post! Here I am talking only about deep self confidence.
 
Perhaps it is possible to state that:
Self Esteem = The value you place on yourself
 
Self Confidence = The belief you have in yourself in certain contexts
The Good News.
 
Both can be improved with some simple techniques.
 
Self esteem can be improved by understanding how you value yourself ... here are some basics:
  • What or who do you compare yourself to?
  • How do you talk to yourself?
  • How do you see yourself in your own mind?
  • How do you treat your own past ... as an empowering driving force or as a disaster?
  • Do you exercise to help feel good for no reason?
  • Does your diet help you feel good or feel bad about yourself?
Self confidence can be improved by learning how you set up your own future.
  • Do you 'feel the fear and do it anyway'? Or do you allow fear to paralyze you?
  • How do you reinforce your confidence? Do you beat yourself up because things didn't go as planned or do you reinforce your confidence by focusing on what is working and on continuous improvement?
Whilst the basic two concepts are different, some of the process skills required to improve each of self esteem and self confidence are identical.
 
If you'd like to get some highly specific and practical skills for free, visit my website selfesteemplus and take the free 21-day building self esteem and confidence course. It comes with a free 35-page workbook too.
 
Of course, if you feel you have deep seated psychological issues, then you must always consult a mental health professional in parallel with any self help.
 
All the best for your journey,
 

Robert Scanlon

07:11 Permalink | Comments (6) | Email this

Comments

Hey Robert, thanks for this post! I've been blogging about self-esteem and self-confidence as well and I wasn't aware about this difference between those two words (I'm not native english speaker). I can imagine how I've confused my readers, speaking about self-confidence where I should have talked about self-esteem...well we learn every day:)

Posted by: Blog of Inspiration | 21/11/2005

Thanks for the kind words - your blog is a great resource too, I'd recommend readers of this blog get on over and read-up!

And yes, I reckon I'm still learning every day .. that's half the fun!!

Posted by: Robert Scanlon | 21/11/2005

Your post about the "body" is fun too, I had exactly the symptoms you write about. It gave me idea for my next post..
If you had links section on your blog, I would exchange link with you:)

Posted by: Blog of Inspiration | 21/11/2005

Love to read your next post then! I believe the power we have with our mind/body connection is often underestimated.

I have already linked to you (I don't like links unless the quality is good and visitors to my site/blog will get some value ... so an exception!), thanks for the reference in your last post ...

Posted by: Robert Scanlon | 21/11/2005

Thanks Rob, I've just added your link on my site as well.

Yes, it's surprising how the mind can affect body so much. Going to talk about that in the next post anyway..

I have the same opinion on links, trying to be picky as well. Hope you will blog a bit more often, because I like your posts!

Take care!

Posted by: Blog of Inspiration | 21/11/2005

I appreciate the time you have put out to opening up your website. I have been able to ponder on your writing and look forward to the 21 day building your self esteem.

Posted by: Heidi | 13/12/2005

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