<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="/rss20.xsl" media="screen"?> <rss xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" version="2.0"> <channel> <title>Building Self Esteem</title> <description>Snippets, techniques and thoughts leading to higher self confidence and self esteem.</description> <link>http://building-self-esteem.blogspirit.com/</link> <lastBuildDate>Tue, 13 May 2008 10:10:24 +0200</lastBuildDate> <generator>blogSpirit.com</generator> <copyright>All Rights Reserved</copyright>  <item> <guid isPermaLink="true">http://building-self-esteem.blogspirit.com/archive/2006/07/12/new-self-esteem-article-database.html</guid> <title>New self esteem article database</title> <link>http://building-self-esteem.blogspirit.com/archive/2006/07/12/new-self-esteem-article-database.html</link> <author>noreply@blogspirit.com (Robert Scanlon)</author>  <pubDate>Wed, 12 Jul 2006 04:00:14 +0200</pubDate> <description> &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;671235301-12072006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;Just letting you all know that I have been working on building a new article and posting system on my website at: &lt;a href=&quot;http://articles.instant-self-esteem.com/&quot;&gt;http://articles.instant-self-esteem.com/&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;671235301-12072006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;Rather than make frequent &quot;blog-style&quot; posts, I will be releasing full length articles on a regular basis -- you are welcome to subscribe using your RSS reader (and if you don't know what that is or where you can find a free one, you can either read about it&amp;nbsp;here &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.feedster.com/help/rssopml.php&quot;&gt;http://www.feedster.com/help/rssopml.php&lt;/a&gt;, or try using Firefox (download it at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.mozilla.com/firefox/&quot;&gt;http://www.mozilla.com/firefox/&lt;/a&gt;), which has&amp;nbsp;it's own&amp;nbsp;built-in RSS reader,&amp;nbsp;instead of Microsoft Internet Explorer, or you can wait for the new version of Microsoft Internet Explorer (IE7) hopefully later this year which will also have it's own RSS reader.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;671235301-12072006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;All the best!&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;671235301-12072006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;Robert&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; </description>  </item>  <item> <guid isPermaLink="true">http://building-self-esteem.blogspirit.com/archive/2006/04/06/how-to-build-self-esteem-by-faking-it.html</guid> <title>How To Build Self Esteem By Faking It</title> <link>http://building-self-esteem.blogspirit.com/archive/2006/04/06/how-to-build-self-esteem-by-faking-it.html</link> <author>noreply@blogspirit.com (Robert Scanlon)</author>  <pubDate>Thu,  6 Apr 2006 02:04:11 +0200</pubDate> <description> &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;A while ago (OK, too long, I know, blogs are supposed to be more regular than mine, but I don't want to clutter it with trivia ...) I wrote an article about &quot;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.instant-self-esteem.com/How-To-Get-Instant-Self-Esteem-And-Self-Confidence-In-The-Next-15-Minutes.htm&quot;&gt;How To Get Instant Self Esteem And Self Confidence In The Next 15 Mins&lt;/a&gt;&quot; (It's worth reading alongside this blog).&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;I had been thinking about how important this philosophy is, particularly with some new work I have been undertaking where my own emotional state has been somewhat up and down in the space of a few hours. It being on my mind, I have just sent an article out to my subscribers reminding them of the application of this powerful technique and I thought I would post some thoughts about it on the blog too ...&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;To summarize,&amp;nbsp;the technique&amp;nbsp;takes on the philosophy that we are essentially &quot;at effect&quot; of our emotional states at any point in the day.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;And that these emotional states in turn direct our thoughts and actions (obviously - you feel happy ... so you think happy thoughts and then do fun things).&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;So if you can influence ... or even deliberately create ... your own emotional states, then it in turn will have a domino effect of &lt;u&gt;creating matching thoughts and actions&lt;/u&gt;.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;The problem is, when you first start doing it, it feels&amp;nbsp;a little 'fake'.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;However ... &lt;strong&gt;ALL our emotional states are 'faked'&lt;/strong&gt; (and I mean this respectfully - they feel 'real' at the time). If they weren't, then how come we can turn them on and off at will - for example by reading a book or watching a movie. When we read a book or watch a movie and come to a sad part or a happy part, don't we in turn feel affected? But it's just fake, right?&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;Anyway, enough of my preaching to you ... my point is, I have been re-reminded to create my own states ... even when I don't feel like it and I want to wallow around in self pity.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;That's the very time to practice &lt;strong&gt;'Being As If'&lt;/strong&gt;. (Or 'Fake It Til You Make It')&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;All the best!&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;140423523-05042006&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;Robert&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt; </description>  </item>  <item> <guid isPermaLink="true">http://building-self-esteem.blogspirit.com/archive/2005/11/27/how-you-can-avoid-sabotaging-your-own-self-esteem1.html</guid> <title>How You Can Avoid Sabotaging Your Own Self Esteem</title> <link>http://building-self-esteem.blogspirit.com/archive/2005/11/27/how-you-can-avoid-sabotaging-your-own-self-esteem1.html</link> <author>noreply@blogspirit.com (Robert Scanlon)</author>  <pubDate>Sun, 27 Nov 2005 11:23:32 +0100</pubDate> <description> &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;I've been really busy lately, adding a huge &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.selfesteemplus.com/self-help-articles.htm&quot;&gt;self help article library&lt;/a&gt; to my website and writing new ones myself&amp;nbsp;... hence the rather noticeable lack of posting recently.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;However, I've just posted a full article at my own website about the subject of 'New Age Guilt' and how it might &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.selfesteemplus.com/self-esteem-articles.htm&quot;&gt;sabotage your self esteem&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;(click the link to read it) and it has got me thinking quite curiously.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;My thinking about this subject was actually re-stimulated when&amp;nbsp;I was reading another author's article about self confidence and building self esteem ... who was pretty much making the same point.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What point?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Well, that our predilection for taking the advice of self help 'gurus' has resulted in an overly biased, 'inward looking' approach.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Meaning: You are a mess; you created your own mess; you are responsible for creating this mess; AND you are responsible for getting yourself out of this mess!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Ouch ...&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;You mean, not only do I feel lousy about myself, but I should feel lousy about the lousy job I'm doing with my life?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Yep. (Apparently!)&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Hmmmm. &lt;u&gt;Nothing worse than feeling guilty about feeling guilty&lt;/u&gt;. It's a downward spiral.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;But how do we overcome this?&lt;/strong&gt; It is such a wonderful skill to self analyze and discover ways in which we can improve. To have those 'Aha' light-bulb moments.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;I think&amp;nbsp;it is best to stick to some good old fashioned common sense.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;I like to use the phrase;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;font color=&quot;#0000FF&quot;&gt;&quot;No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person&quot;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;It tends to stop the New Age Guilt seeping in, even when the person talking to you is your own nagging new age self.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Sure, we should all keep looking for ways to get personal development and self improvement.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;But don't let any apparent 'lack' in you be the cause of you beating yourself up.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;u&gt;It only makes things worse.&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Oh by the way ... just in case you are now thinking ... &lt;em&gt;&quot;Oh God he's right, what an idiot I have been, beating myself up about my low self esteem, how could I do that, I must stop it, oh I'm such a loser ...&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div align=&quot;left&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; color=&quot;#FF0000&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;&lt;strong&gt;STOP IT!!!!!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Look for all the positives and remember, there is always someone worse off than us .... and equally always someone better off. And self inflicted pain as a result of you comparing yourself to others is optional!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;All the best in your journey!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Robert&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Arial&quot; size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;953463109-27112005&quot;&gt;Find out more ways to inflict better self esteem and self confidence on you and your friends ... FREE ... at &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.selfesteemplus.com/&quot;&gt;http://www.selfesteemplus.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.selfesteemplus.com/self-esteem-articles.htm&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt; </description>  </item>  </channel> </rss> 